Shannon, this is a wonderful piece and what surprised me most in reading it--despite it's theme--was the overwhelming sense of love that seems to exist between you and your sister, and that you both have for your mom. I'm sorry: it was hard to process anything else.
Your mom seems to have done astounding things to both you and your sister (and perhaps her own sister). As a result, you would both be, generally speaking, "justified" in just leaving her alone, forever. But even after what she did to your sister--on two occasions--your sister spoke on the phone with her for 3 hours!
That's just love!
Even when you said you and your sister were estranged then reconciled, I asked myself, "How? They are both clearly loving people?" What I mean is that loving people kind or pretend to be angry or hateful, but never really are. My son is like that. Guy could go pet a dog that bit him the day before.
My point is that the rest of all what you said concerning your sister: prison, drugs, etc., that's about as significant as hair coloring. It doesn't stick. It's not her. The only substantive thing in a person, as far as I'm concerned, is his or her capacity to love and forgive. And you BOTH have that! Degrees, careers, money, nothing else matters, if you don't have love and forgiveness.
In my opinion--and without in the least way suggesting your childhood problems were minor or even justifiable--God forbid!--it seems you and your sister somehow obtained something more valuable than the stable or comfortable upbringing you tacitly suggest many others have. In fact, I suspect very few people in any household anywhere manage to escape with love and forgiveness both. Whether these capacities came from your mom or dad, I do not know. It probably doesn't matter either. The point is: you've got it!
Indeed, as a parent myself, I can only hope to have children so forgiving, so loving and so caring of me, despite my believing my parenthood road has been paved with mistakes of selfishness and stupidity. I don't know how you teach that (good virtue). I don't know how you pass it on. I can only suspect that you and your sister are already giving love and forgiveness to your children without even trying.
And now, you have given it to us. Thank you!
